biyahera : GOODBYE HAPPINESS ( letter to a departed )

We are never ever going back together- Taylor Swift

Indulge me. This is personal.

Dear Happiness,

It's been 18 long days. The longest that I've ever been without you. It was harder than I thought it would be. Parting with you was one hell of a decision. It was saying goodbye to happiness. It was like halting to breath. It was as if I was killing the very core of me.

We've been through ages. Every up and down, every rise and fall and every laughter and tear. You were there for me. You were my drug, my comfort zone, and my assurance that everything will be alright. I clung to you like a child. You, slowly sucking the very life of me. I let you did what you've done without question and reservation. I was okay with it for the longest time until the 12th of June 2014.

It was freedom! Independence from your control, you which held my life on the edge of danger and near death. I finally decided to part with you. My heart said, enough is enough. I finally found the good in goodbye.

It was hard not missing you, harder not to be tempted by what we had in the past. There were times that I would love to have you back but my will would shut the thoughts i have for you. I held on controlling myself, I held on tight to my determination until I felt for you no more.

At times, I would blame myself for not having the guts to leave you early on. I waited longer until i was heavily burdened with your brunt. Until the worst has been done to my soul. I cannot undo the past nor correct my mistakes in a snap. But i am taking baby steps to make myself and everything better. In time, everything will be alright. The good days are not far ahead.

I miss you everyday but that would be it. I learned my lessons hard and well. I don't want to be with you again. There is no space left for you in my life anymore. Sorry that this has to be this way but I love myself more than the love you're giving me. Yours is a destruction. I am glad i ran out from the mess we're in before it was too late.

I hope you well and I pray that you don't miss me. Please don't. Have mercy on me. we have had enough memories to last us a lifetime. it is time to move on and move forward.

I am now in control of my life and never would I allow myself to be enslaved by your kind. Not ever. Not again.

I have only one wish in mind. Be kind to others. Don't let them fall for you hard and deep like I did.

Goodbye happiness!

Here's to you and the good 'ol days.

Ofel